I have made the easiest thing become the most difficult.
Resistance to what naturally wants to unfold has caused immense suffering. The need to understand and be on top of everything has drained the will to survive for the price I constantly had to pay.
The intense focus applied in any endeavour throughout my life kept me going, searching, running, hiding, neglecting, sorting, categorizing and comparing until they one by one silently dropped away.
​
Interests disappeared. The wish to attain disappeared. The desire to know disappeared. The urge to make sense disappeared.
The losses ended in a standstill. The label 'boredom' arose, but the energy to sustain the label was also gone.
I do not know what is happening
​
I do not know if there is an end to this
​
All my questions have been answered
​
as 'no answer' is the peace looked for
​
I have come to see that every character
is subject to its own unique territory. A unique script encompassing unique looks, interests, qualities and capabilities.
Below is a summary of what has been realized through years of questioning reality